My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
