I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
