i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
