I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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