we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
high people should be assigned attendants
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
