Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
