Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
