So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
