If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
