A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
if i died would you start the facebook group?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
