bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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