Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
