we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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