You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It's rum buckets o'clock
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
