Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
