I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
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