Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
