Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
