Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
it glows. i had to have it.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
