Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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