put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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