I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
