DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
