how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
