Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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