If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
