ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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