this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
