8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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