remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
