He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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