You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
