Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
this is an emotional support booty call
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
