The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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