he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
