She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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