Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
