Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
