So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
