I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
