yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
