I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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