bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
