I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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