Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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