i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
