The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
