I got chris browned last night
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
