I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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