she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
